Trick or Treat Morality

Christians, including me, make the easy mistake of majoring on minors and minoring on majors. Halloween and other holidays with ancient pagan histories seem to be a favorite.


Here are attitudes I've encountered on moral issues over the past decade at a variety of Christian groups (Evangelical, Catholic, Presbyterian, You Name It, etc.) :

Abortion? [ie: the intentional murder of a pre-born child]:
shhhhh.


Contraception? [ie: the artificial interference with the creation of human life]:

Moot point. Personal choice. No problem. (FYI: prior to the 1930's, this was not just a Catholic issue but all Christian groups were opposed to the practice. Fear not, I'm not advocating unbridled fertility at any cost. But that's another point and blog post. If I ever dare. Don't worry, I probably won't.)


Sterilization? [or as my articulate husband would call it "castration"]:
Moot point. Personal choice. No problem.

Disrespect & Dismissal of Motherhood? [ie: Abandonment of children to minimum wage daycare workers so mothers can pursue extra cash and career status]:

female equality, liberation, personal fulfillment


Absolute Abandonment of Morality in the Name of Entertainment? [You don't have to be a TV nazi to recognize Nero thought live humans eaten by bears was a good time too. Desperate Housewives?? Sex in the City?? I'm more liberated bare foot and pregnant than those skanks are any day.]

Uh huhh; Lets watch it together after home group.


Complete Reliance on the liberal state to educate one's child? [ no, homeschooling's not for everyone but can't the "birds and the bees" and birth control pills be lessons saved for mom & pop?]

Uh huh. Can't they take them sooner? I mean a full day at 5 years old isn't soon enough; I need them out of my hair at least by 2.5; save us, Hillary!! Save us Head Start!!


Halloween? [kids dressing up and asking neighbors for candy while mom pushes junior in the stroller]

HOLY HELL FIRE!! Would somebody please call the Donut Man, bring in some hay and have an alterna-harvest party before we're drowning in sin and mini snickers bars. Quick. Quick. Call the homeschooling moms so they can raise a stink cause don't you know all the neighbors are holding seances and shoving razors in apples then drowning all the bobbers!!!!!


My Point: If you have a moral stance against trick or treating but skirt the bigger issues, you're a putz. Get with the program; let the kids wear face paint and gather free candy (cause if you don't they'll have a really great reason to hate religion); save moral opposition for worthy issues such as ... hmm ... killing babies would be a good start.

And if you've made it to the bottom of this post too long for a blog, here's your bonus apple bobbing shots (there were too many good ones to choose from):



See how lame the harvest party was in 1982 ... No wonder I stink at bobbing; Joey's mom never gave us kids a turn ...




Sad, small children dreaming of candy but soaking with apples.





That's what my father-in-law is doing with all his retirement time. No wonder the basement's not cleaned out ...




And yes, this is me and my overly excited homeschooled child in 7 years. He talks really fast about things other people aren't interested in like fuel and driveway gradients. But he trick or treats. Darn it. He trick or treats.