Thursday, August 2, 2007

An R.S.V.P. to Every Annoying "Come to My House and Buy Crap From Me Cause You Feel Guilty" Party

Here's what I said: "I, uh can't cause I uh have a thing at a thing; a place to be somewhere that night cause it's hmm, [cough cough], hmm... a real ... hmm ..."

Here's what I meant: "AAAAAHHHHHH!!!!! I hate that shit!!! No, I don't want to buy a$20 candle in your living room that I could spend $0.50 on at K Mart. Don't rip me off just cause you're a low-cash-flow-stay-at-home-mom trying to make money off low-cash- flow-stay-at-home-moms. I nickle and dime the best deals at ALDI; why are you using our relationship to guilt me into turning over my milk money for Mary Kay, Tupperware, Pampered Chef and AVON???!!! I hate it all -- nay I DESPISE it all.

Feelings hurt? I'm not sorry as all you representatives (and you know who you are) absolutely deserve it. But I do have a great idea for revenge. Get me back by not inviting me to your next sale's event (I think you call them "parties").

4 comments:

Cherie said...

It's official. I love you. You are my girl-crush.

Sarah said...

Thanks Cher. Now I'm gonna go comment on your blog cause we are a mutual girl-crush.

Abigail said...

------------------

junk.

-----------------

crap.

------------------

stuff.

-----------------

non-necessities.

-----------------

fecal matter.

----------------

Mother Johnson should never read this post...

And what about stamping parties?!? Someday, when you and Pete decide that Nanticoke is where it's at, I'll throw a million for us. (I've greatly enjoyed the two I've been to, but that may be because they were like mini family reunions at Aunt Alice's house.)

stmelber said...

Does this mean you won't come to my Arbonne party? Cause I realize that there are 500 different lotions out there that smell like cucumber melon but the "skin care specialist" said that this is the only one that comes from the floodplains of Holland where little Danish children wade through the rising waters in their little wooden shoes to hand pick the top secret special ingredients and then delicately place them in Great-grandmother Arbonne's waiting ox-cart...
...besides I'm only having the party as a favor for my cousin who gets 50% off any non-sale-priced item as long as she places the order on a Wednesday or a Friday (some restrictions apply) and she really wants to buy some salt scrub and with the discount it will only be $27.50...which is only $13.00 more than you would pay for it at Bath and Body Works...