I was leaving Mass when a charming, 80- something-old granny struck up a chat with my babies.
After admiring them she turned to me and said, "I'm one of 10 children. 5 boys and 5 girls. I'm number 6. God just carried my mother in the palm of her hand. God rest her soul."
Thinking this was a gal who understood the blessing of life, I told her I'm expecting number 3.
She said, "Just hope it's a girl. And then you can be done."
So here's the commentary: Without the generosity to life that Granny's mother had, Granny wouldn't exist. She simply wouldn't. Had Granny's mom been part of the sickening, selfish ME generation (who has it's head so far up it's own rear-end, it's lost the basic notion that "in giving we receive"), Granny's Ma would have "been done" well before she hit Granny. Granny is just another casualty in the Catholic battle against secular feminism. A casualty I say. The battle was lost in souls like hers. Although a generous, life-giving culture wrought her, she promotes the antithesis, even in such small, off-handed comments.
Granny went on to tell me (with a sigh) that her only family left attending the parish is her grandson, his wife and their 9-year-old child. They weren't attending today because the parents, both doctors, were at work.
Too bad kids are such a pain in the ass, Granny. Too bad. Cause if you had promoted a culture of life like your dear old Ma did, you'd have your own babies to admire.
8 comments:
You are one judgemental, angry woman.
Well, Jamiejabbers, if your profile was open to the public, I could see what type of woman you are and perhaps make a judgement call as to your character as well. You call me "judgemental." How judgemental of you.
My dear friend Sarah. We don't agree on some things, and then, on the other hand, we agree on much. Our views on birth control and the women who choose to use it may never be the same. However, I love that you speak your mind. I love that you are confident enough to put your thoughts out there. I love that you cause me to examine my beliefs, and through that process, help me grow stronger in them.
You are a dear, dear friend, and I am thankful for you in my life. Thank you for your blog, your insights and your friendship. My life is richer because of you, your husband, and your children!
Thanks for the thoughtful & sweet comment, Cherie. The sentiment is mutual.
One note: While contraception (not always the same as birth control) is a part of the problem that can lead humans to view their offspring as unwelcome, it is not that simple.
I've met many folk who do not believe in any sort of intellectual involvement in the planning of their families who have morbid, modern contraceptive attitudes toward children. In the same, I've met folk who use contraception (mostly those who have never looked into it on a moral & historical level) whose attitudes inspire me and are completely pro-life. Needless to say, the birth control issue is insanely complex.
These words are not neccessarily condoned by the blog-owner:) I have my own mouth. Yell at me, not Sarah.
Sarah,
You are right, and it is that simple. Your thoughts are well-spoken and I hope a lot of "drive-bys" pick you up and read and are convicted by their own sudden and unexplainable anger.
Being open to life is a very thoughful, comtemplative action. Just like love, just like faith. It is on purpose. Whereas, being pro-contraception doesn't really take any thought at all. It's completely non-sacrificial. Completely unChristlike. If that is confusing to one who claims Christ, they really are in the wrong religion. If you don't claim Him (or don't want any part of His cross), your contraceptive ideas make a lot of sense...for you. All for you. That is feminism. That is non-Catholic.
“Love seeks one thing only: the good of the one loved. It leaves all the other secondary effects to take care of themselves. Love, therefore, is its own reward.”
Thomas Merton
Jaimie-who-likes-to-jab-others...sometimes "judgement" is called for. It's a major function of the brain.
Thanks Tiff; That was insightful and beautiful.
It's funny; it really was not my intention to talk about contraception but rather my disdain for the commonly accepted attitude that kids are a pain. Others made the connection for me (even though I learned not too long ago that the connection exists)
I did not intended to just leave that comment and run but unfortunately I didn't have the time to explain myself yesterday...or today! With the time I have I would like to say that I was not calling into question your character. That is not for me to judge nor would it be fair for me to try using the little information from a blog. Essentially I was doing the same I saw you do in that post...take one conversation and make a harsh decision on who you were and what you were really thinking. Unfair? Certainly.
I'm not trying to be mean or a jerk. I've been reading your blog here and there and have enjoyed the way you present your point of view. I first heard about your family through Abagail's blog, over a year ago when she asked for prayers for your youngest. I went to Houghton with her and John and, altough we were never close, the chance to see how her family is doing and growing on the blog is a joy. I am a Catholic as well which made your blog even that much more an enjoyable read.
Thanks for the info Jamie; and thanks for input into my blog; any friend of Abby is a friend of mine!
I'd like to point out one thing: I did not say anything negative about granny other than to note that she is promoting the antithesis of a pro-life stance even with such small comments as "have a girl and you can be done!"
I did not call her a name other than "charming." And she is. I just think she is misguided and is therefore suffering. I'm sure granny is a kind person (she has been kind to me!). I just reject her subtle rhetoric.
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