My Poor Family:The Unicorn and The Happy Bunny

On a self abasing or braggadocios note (you decide), I had my triumphant debut as a writer, producer, and director of One Act Plays. The Unicorn and the Happy Bunny (performed above by my sister Mary and old time pal Kendra) was a barn burner. It was inspired by the ugly sweatshirts I compulsively buy at Thrift stores (note: Mary played Unicorn, hence the unicorn sweatshirt and Kendra was Happy Bunny, hence bunny shirt).

It really was a dream come true in the sense that I simply walked up to them in the kitchen, held up a bag containing costumes and scripts and asked "One Act Play?"

They complied winningly and my bug has been bit to create One Act Plays for all sorts of times and seasons -- not just for Holy Days (this one was performed after Christmas dinner), but ordinary days too. For example, I can't wait to be sitting one day in a laundromat. I'll be listlessly watching the washers wash and haplessly listening to the dryers dry when I'll strike up a conversation with the lady to my left with three simple words:

"One Act Play?"

I'll hand her a bag with scripts and costumes and voila, the masses (or at least just the guy who mops the floors) will throw quarters.

The only bad part about The Unicorn and the Happy Bunny was at the end when my mom met up with me in the kitchen and said: "I really hated your play."

But it wasn't so horribly bad as I told her that the Happy Bunny was based on her and Happy Bunny's are too practical for theater. She agreed.

Here's the play; I'm hoping Mary and Kendra are available for the screen version. Oh yeah, Kendra's brothers, Jason and Liam, played, respectively, the Narrator and the Blimp. They were fabulous.

The Unicorn and The Happy Bunny

Cast: Unicorn, Happy Bunny and Narrator

Setting: Gumdrop Cloud ; Happy Bunny is busy harvesting carrots

Narrator: It was an ordinary day on gumdrop cloud. Happy Bunny was busily harvesting carrots before the midwinter frost. The sun was high and a morning dove cooed a happy melody that sounded like the theme song for the 80’s hit show The Facts of Life; (motion to audience to join in) You know the words; sing with me now, “You take the good you take the bad you take them both and there you have the facts of life the facts of life; there’s a time you’ve got to go and show you’re growing now you know about the facts of life, the facts of life; when the world never seems to be living up to your dreams then suddenly you’re finding out the facts of life are all about you you –oo—ooh …. (fade song and spin off set)

Happy Bunny (sings & hops): I am harvesting my carrots!!! (make up tune) La di da da di la di da da do!! I am harvesting my carrots!!! I am harvesting my carrots!!!! (hop about) la di di di da la di da da da doo!!!!

Unicorn: [runs in making unicorn noises] Neigh, neigh, I’m a unicorn. I’m a unicorn. I’m a fussy, naughty unicorn and I’ll never help pick carrots! Never!! Never!! Ha! Ha! Ha ha ha!! Ha ha ha!!!”

Happy Bunny: [waving a carrot] Fine, unicorn. But harvesting carrots is not all hard work and if you won’t pull your share, I’ll happily, hoppily pull enough for us both cause I love carrots and I love you!

Unicorn: Oh, Happy Bunny. I love you too but I am sad because I am not good like you – I’m so unhelpful with the carrots; so unhelpful. Let’s hold hands and dance around in a circle until the stars shine brightly and all the sadness fades away…

Happy Bunny: Oh, lets! (they take hands)

Unicorn to Narrator: Would you like to join us, oh, tall, white guy?

Narrator: Sure!

(Unicorn, Narrator and Happy bunny hold hands, dance in a circle and sing The Facts of Life Theme song until they see a blimp coming toward them)

song: You take the good you take the bad you take them both and there you have the facts of life the facts of life There’s a time you’ve got to go and show you’re growing now you know about the facts of life the facts of life; when the world never seems to be living up to your dreams, them suddenly you’re finding out the facts of --

Unicorn: Look a blimp!

Narrator: Look a blimp!

Happy Bunny: It’s coming right toward us! It’s going to crash into our cloud, shake out all its gumdrops and we will be lost forever in a great sea of sky! Ahhh!

Unicorn: Not if you hop on my back and I take you to safety on the jelly bean island!!

Happy Bunny: Oh would you!!

Unicorn: I would!

(Happy Bunny holds on tightly to unicorn’s back and they fly away; waving goodbye)

Happy Bunny and Unicorn together (fading out as they go out of the room): Goodbye, white guy!! Goodbye Gumdrop Cloud; we’ll miss you!! So long!! Au Riva derci!! Asta Pasta!! Later gater!! In a while crocodile!!

(Unicorn comes back and runs back and forth in the room between gum drop cloud and jelly bean island)

Narrator: And in the face of impending troubles, Unicorn, while naughty and lazy about carrot picking, was victorious to save the day by flying every last happy bunny from gum drop cloud to jelly bean island. By the time she arrived on jelly bean island with the last safely, fettered bunny, she collapsed on a hammock of handshakes.

Unicorn and Happy Bunny act out while Narrator says following Iines: (Unicorn lays down on the floor and happy bunny comes out to fan her with her with a carrot stem; Unicorn wakes up and Happy Bunny places a crown on her head, a carrot in her hand and lifts her hand to the sky)

Narrator: Unicorn awoke many days later to the sound of swishing carrot stems waving in her honor as the happy bunnies hailed their new chief and sang their country’s anthem, which also coincidentally is the theme song to the 80’s hit show “The Facts of Life.” Everybody now:

You take the good you take the bad you take them both and there you have the facts of life the facts of life; there’s a time you’ve got to go and show you’re growing now you know about the facts of life the facts of life; when the world never seems to be living up to your dreams then suddenly you’re finding out the facts of life are all about you; you-oo-oo ….

All Bow